Do you remember having THE talk with your parents?

These days THE talk just isn't going to cut it. As a parent, your job is to have an on-going conversation with your children about sex, sexuality and sexual decision-making. From a very early age kids are invited into a sex-saturated culture. Your job is to help them understand what they are being exposed to through a healthy lense. Studies show that 80% of teens say that their parents are the most influential people in their life. Use your influence well! Teach your kids abot God's plan for sex, so that they can chose sexual integrity and help us "reinvent the sexual revolution"! Below you will find a few tips to get started, and it is never too late to start! Be sure to look at our resources page for age-appropriate resources for your children and for you!

10 Things Parents Should Know

Developed by the National Campaign to Prevent Teen Pregnancy

  1. Show us why sex before marriage and teen pregnancy are such bad ideas. For instance, let us hear directly from teen mothers and fathers about how hard it has been for them. Even though most of us don't want to get pregnant, sometimes we need real-life examples to help motivate us.
  2. Talk to us honestly about love, sex, and relationships. Just because we're young doesn't mean that we can't fall in love or be deeply interested in sex. These feelings are very real and powerful to us. Help us to handle the feelings in a safe way ­ without getting hurt or hurting others.
  3. Telling us not to have sex is not enough. Explain why you feel that way, and ask us what we think. Tell us how you felt as a teen. Listen to us and take our opinions seriously. And no lectures, please.
  4. We need real answers on how to avoid pregnancy and sexually transmitted diseases. Talk to us about the importance of abstinence.
  5. If we ask you about sex, don't assume we are already having sex. We may just be curious, or we may just want to talk with someone we trust. And don't think giving us information about sex will encourage us to have sex.
  6. Reward us for making the right decisions. This will make us want to keep doing the right things.
  7. Sometimes, all it takes not to have sex is not to have the opportunity. If you can't be home with us after school, make sure we have something to do that we really like, where there are other kids and some adults who are comfortable with kids our age. Don't leave us alone so much.
  8. We really care what you think, even if we don't always act like it. When we don't end up doing exactly what you tell us to, don't think you've failed to reach us.
  9. Show us what good, responsible relationships look like. We're as influenced by what you do as by what you say. If you demonstrate sharing, communication, and responsibility in your own relationships, we will be more likely to follow your example.
  10. We hate "The Talk" as much as you do. Instead, start talking with us about sex and responsibility when we're young, and keep the conversation going as we grow older.

 

5 Practical Hints for Parents

5 Helpful Hints to Monitor Your Child's Behavior

  1. Supervise your students. Set rules, curfews, and clearly explain what behavior you expect of your child. Keep family discussion open and communicate respectfully. What activities does your child participate in while you are at work? Who is supervising your child after school? Where do they hang out with their friends? Remember that supervising your kids and knowing their whereabouts makes you a good parent, not a nag.
  2. Know your student's friends and their families. People of all ages are strongly influenced by their friends. Get to know the parents of our student's friends because you can have a say in who your child spends time with. Help them meet children of your own friends, who share the same values and beliefs on sex, love, and marriage. Ask to meet parents of teens early so you may set common rules and expectations. Try to set common urfews. Welcome your student's friends into your home and talk to them openly.
  3. Discourage early, frequent, and steady dating. Encourage group activities for your kids that are fun and exciting. Allowing one-on-one dating for your young teen is only asking for trouble. Make this rule clear when your teen is a child so they do not think you just don't like the particular person they are proposing to spend alone time with.
  4. Give your teenagers options for the future that are more attractive than becoming sexually active at a young age. The chances that your child will delay sex, pregnancy, and parenthood are strongly reduced if their future appears bright. Help them set real goals for the future, talk to them about what it takes to make those plans come true, and help them reach their goals. Teach them to be constructive with their free time. Encourage them to complete their homework. Show them how much their future could be diminished by becoming sexually involved before marriage.
  5. Above all else, build a strong and close relationship with your student at an early age. Show them and tell them you love them - clearly and often. Hug your children and praise their accomplishments. Spend quality time with your children doing things that they like, not just things that fit in your schedule. This will establish a trust which forms the basis for future communication with them about specific topics, including sexual behavior

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